It all started with an interview. Hayley was interviewing an eccentric lady who was talking about her holidays and experiences. Whilst she did not get the role she did help plant a seed in our minds.
Due to planned (or unplanned) reasons we knew we wanted to go away early in the year so we had a look around and stumbled upon a £99 Wowcher deal. This was for one person and had many great destinations, Hayley will tell you I was certain we would be getting the top-billed holiday of 7 nights in the Maldives. (spoiler we didn't)
We spent ages going through all the Highlights, Full details and small print to make sure this was suitable for us, we checked and double-checked. Weighed up all of the pros and cons (if you know H this took a while).
So the basics of this deal were quite simple. You pay £99 (you need two though. cheeky) and this would need to enter a couple of dates you wished to travel. Between March-May and September - November. You needed to pick a couple of airports and then sit back and wait till the 'draw'. For us, this would be only 3 days wait so as not to nail baiting.
They would then contact you and tell you which of the holidays you would be going on. We knew (well Hayley did) that it would not be any of the week-long, long-haul holidays and would be more likely to be one of the holidays lower (much lower) down the list. But it didn't matter a couple of days away would be well deserved and needed.
As with most things, the adverts had the best deals at the top, 7 nights all-inclusive with transfers and bottoms wiped in the Maldives (can you tell I'm bitter), all the way down to a two-night stay in a sess pit with a plane powered by an elastic band, no transfers and would need to forage for your own food in a gloomy forest. We had hoped for somewhere in the middle.
Due to planned (or unplanned) reasons we knew we wanted to go away early in the year so we had a look around and stumbled upon a £99 Wowcher deal. This was for one person and had many great destinations, Hayley will tell you I was certain we would be getting the top-billed holiday of 7 nights in the Maldives. (spoiler we didn't)
We spent ages going through all the Highlights, Full details and small print to make sure this was suitable for us, we checked and double-checked. Weighed up all of the pros and cons (if you know H this took a while).
So the basics of this deal were quite simple. You pay £99 (you need two though. cheeky) and this would need to enter a couple of dates you wished to travel. Between March-May and September - November. You needed to pick a couple of airports and then sit back and wait till the 'draw'. For us, this would be only 3 days wait so as not to nail baiting.
They would then contact you and tell you which of the holidays you would be going on. We knew (well Hayley did) that it would not be any of the week-long, long-haul holidays and would be more likely to be one of the holidays lower (much lower) down the list. But it didn't matter a couple of days away would be well deserved and needed.
As with most things, the adverts had the best deals at the top, 7 nights all-inclusive with transfers and bottoms wiped in the Maldives (can you tell I'm bitter), all the way down to a two-night stay in a sess pit with a plane powered by an elastic band, no transfers and would need to forage for your own food in a gloomy forest. We had hoped for somewhere in the middle.
Hotel & Resort
Travel Agent
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Well, we took the plunge and signed up. We filled in our dates and the 3 choices of airport. AFTER we submitted we did think we should have put Heathrow as our 3 choices as would have been more chance of long haul. But oh well. We then sat back and waited.
SHOCK HORROR, the first traumatic experience (not saying there's more but. . .) the next day the price had only gone and dropped by £10. All because of V day. Pfft. Annoying but we had to move on.
On valentines day at 14.46, I get a WhatsApp from Hayley saying she is on the phone to the travel company. A day after the draw, so I have my fingers crossed for the Maldives. (turns out we did get that just take off the first 3 letters). They told her March was not available. ALTHOUGH for just £39 per person, it could magically be available.
SHOCK HORROR, the first traumatic experience (not saying there's more but. . .) the next day the price had only gone and dropped by £10. All because of V day. Pfft. Annoying but we had to move on.
On valentines day at 14.46, I get a WhatsApp from Hayley saying she is on the phone to the travel company. A day after the draw, so I have my fingers crossed for the Maldives. (turns out we did get that just take off the first 3 letters). They told her March was not available. ALTHOUGH for just £39 per person, it could magically be available.
Alarm bells start ringing and after lots of backing and forthing by Hayley, (can I just say never try to upsell to her, you have more chance of a stone giving birth to triplets and selling them in a Turkish bizarre than getting one by on her) He gave up and gave us a 3-star hotel B&B in Quarteira for 2 nights with early departure flights. No extra fees.
I have shortened that dramatically but basically they tried to tell us we were wrong and because we had read everything we pulled them on it. He was trying to sell us stuff but H said no. Boom. Now, all we had to do is wait until the 1st of March, well kind of. We would still have to get transfers, airport parking, check-in and find what local things there were to do.
I also, cheeky I know, emailed the hotel (twice) asking what upgrade packages they had. We had seen that the hotel did all-inclusive options and also thought we would have a very basic room so was worth a shot. The thought was that they would want to make a little extra cash from us.
They did not reply to either email and all I can do it thank all the gods they did not. That will come later.
We only had hand luggage with our flight and we did umm and rr about what to do. We didnt want to pay anymore so left it at that. Reading all the rules about the sizes and what we could use. We got a bag for Hayley, which was very good. (Will put something in Tips) I used my normal magic backpack that Hayey got me for Christmas. (Was slightly larger but fingers crossed).
We tried to check in online for our flight about 5 days before but found we would have to pay £20 each to book our seats. We would have to wait 48 hours before the flight to check in for 'free', So we did. BUT we found that with Wizz air if you didn't want to pay you would have to choose to be allocated by the airline. We did this but found that our seats were rows apart.
We downloaded the Wizz air app and although it is easy to use I do believe its only purpose is to try and upsell you things. It is full of things such as transfers, hotels, etc but mainly to get you to sign up for their Wizz air (citation) program. This would be a good thing if flew with them a lot. It gave you allocated seating blaugh blaugh. But we were only using them for this, why would we part with £00?
The day before our flight we checked and could see there was still plenty of space left on the plane, But if we wanted to move our seats Hayleys (who was next to the window) would cost £8 and for me to sit next to her (on the middle seat) would cost £7. It seems the system simply filled gaps. Or if you have a suspicious mind, they ensured you could not just move one of you. We left it and would ask on the day.
I have shortened that dramatically but basically they tried to tell us we were wrong and because we had read everything we pulled them on it. He was trying to sell us stuff but H said no. Boom. Now, all we had to do is wait until the 1st of March, well kind of. We would still have to get transfers, airport parking, check-in and find what local things there were to do.
I also, cheeky I know, emailed the hotel (twice) asking what upgrade packages they had. We had seen that the hotel did all-inclusive options and also thought we would have a very basic room so was worth a shot. The thought was that they would want to make a little extra cash from us.
They did not reply to either email and all I can do it thank all the gods they did not. That will come later.
We only had hand luggage with our flight and we did umm and rr about what to do. We didnt want to pay anymore so left it at that. Reading all the rules about the sizes and what we could use. We got a bag for Hayley, which was very good. (Will put something in Tips) I used my normal magic backpack that Hayey got me for Christmas. (Was slightly larger but fingers crossed).
We tried to check in online for our flight about 5 days before but found we would have to pay £20 each to book our seats. We would have to wait 48 hours before the flight to check in for 'free', So we did. BUT we found that with Wizz air if you didn't want to pay you would have to choose to be allocated by the airline. We did this but found that our seats were rows apart.
We downloaded the Wizz air app and although it is easy to use I do believe its only purpose is to try and upsell you things. It is full of things such as transfers, hotels, etc but mainly to get you to sign up for their Wizz air (citation) program. This would be a good thing if flew with them a lot. It gave you allocated seating blaugh blaugh. But we were only using them for this, why would we part with £00?
The day before our flight we checked and could see there was still plenty of space left on the plane, But if we wanted to move our seats Hayleys (who was next to the window) would cost £8 and for me to sit next to her (on the middle seat) would cost £7. It seems the system simply filled gaps. Or if you have a suspicious mind, they ensured you could not just move one of you. We left it and would ask on the day.
Anyway, the day came and we woke up at 3.00 am to get ready, we had packed the night before, all we had to do was get ready and go. Hayley had booked Purple Parking so put it in the Sat nav (well Waze) and headed on our way. Our gate closed at 6.05 and I fancied the obligatory spoons airport breakfast (Lagar) for the Gram of course. So booked the slot for 4.30.
We traveled a very unusual way and thought Waze had gone batshit crazy because seemed to take us the opposite to every sign directing us to Gatwick. But we trusted and got there. A weirdo was parked at the entrance gates and just sat there. We tried to pull around them but then they decided they wanted to go in. Grrr (wankers)
We traveled a very unusual way and thought Waze had gone batshit crazy because seemed to take us the opposite to every sign directing us to Gatwick. But we trusted and got there. A weirdo was parked at the entrance gates and just sat there. We tried to pull around them but then they decided they wanted to go in. Grrr (wankers)
We get in, park up and go to hand in the car key. The guy was very cheerful for half four in the morning but seemed to take his time, as soon as he said ok so go get on the but. It drove off. FINE we will wait for the next one. This was a delay in my valuable drinking time (for the Gram)
We get in and head straight for security, this is defiantly one of the perks about not having to drop your bags off. We get to the area where you sort out liquids, I know these rules are changing but went through what I used to do working at Heathrow. We go through the detectors. To this day even though I have been through them thousands of times I still get a little niggally feeling I may have accidentally left something metal in my pockets or I forgot to take the AK47s out of my back pocket.
No beep Im good, but wait. What if Hayley forgot to take the knuckle dusters off, or accidentally strapped several knives (for cooking obvs) to her waistband? Nope, she got through ok phew. Collect our bags and go. The gram needs a picture of beer in an airport pub. How will it know we are going away if not?
Wait, Hayley's bag has been rejected, it's making its long slow roll of shame down the ramp of naughtiness. Shit, she packed explosives or filled her bag with liquids, drugs or thousands of pounds in cash. Who knows. Hayley was actually super excited about this, she has never been checked before and her face actually lit up. A guard called us over and went through the usual procedures, 'Have you packed yourself?', 'Any sharp objects?'
He went through the bag and on taking out the clear makeup bag Hayley could see her tweezers at the bottom. But this was not the offending item. It was a bottle of powder which the screen reader was unsure about. All checked out so he swobbed the bag and checked, all good we could go. Hayley still happy and excited about been stopped.
We get in and head straight for security, this is defiantly one of the perks about not having to drop your bags off. We get to the area where you sort out liquids, I know these rules are changing but went through what I used to do working at Heathrow. We go through the detectors. To this day even though I have been through them thousands of times I still get a little niggally feeling I may have accidentally left something metal in my pockets or I forgot to take the AK47s out of my back pocket.
No beep Im good, but wait. What if Hayley forgot to take the knuckle dusters off, or accidentally strapped several knives (for cooking obvs) to her waistband? Nope, she got through ok phew. Collect our bags and go. The gram needs a picture of beer in an airport pub. How will it know we are going away if not?
Wait, Hayley's bag has been rejected, it's making its long slow roll of shame down the ramp of naughtiness. Shit, she packed explosives or filled her bag with liquids, drugs or thousands of pounds in cash. Who knows. Hayley was actually super excited about this, she has never been checked before and her face actually lit up. A guard called us over and went through the usual procedures, 'Have you packed yourself?', 'Any sharp objects?'
He went through the bag and on taking out the clear makeup bag Hayley could see her tweezers at the bottom. But this was not the offending item. It was a bottle of powder which the screen reader was unsure about. All checked out so he swobbed the bag and checked, all good we could go. Hayley still happy and excited about been stopped.
We go through duty-free and escape to the other end, we did stop and sniffed some things and had a quick freshen-up (sprayed with testers) time to board. No time for pictures of beer, or to drink. We head to the gate, which as always is miles away. We see that there's a coffee place next to the gate. Something to aim for. But alas we do not get to it because it's a bit further on and our plane is boarding.
We ask the lady if we can sit together, and her response was, planes full and ask on board. Was not even that polite. We wait a little bit whilest they board all with familys or who just want to push. The people on the plane said, there was space but have to wait till in the air.
We ask the lady if we can sit together, and her response was, planes full and ask on board. Was not even that polite. We wait a little bit whilest they board all with familys or who just want to push. The people on the plane said, there was space but have to wait till in the air.
We go to our seats, like good little children. I peruse the inflight mag for breakfast, (coffee at least) I see an air steward taking people from their seats. It seems a group of 5 was all moved to be seated at the back of the plane, someone had organized this for them. Who? How? All I kept getting was to ask someone else. Either way, this meant that a person seated in the same row as Hayley was moved. I sneaked and joined, a lovely lady had moved to the aisle seat so we could be sat together, her partner was also split up, but she didn't mind this. And that was all really, we ordered some coffee and croissants, it was meant to be Starbucks coffee but was terrible, worse than normal Starbucks coffee.
That was it for the flight, apart from where I was falling asleep and Hayley was staring at me, you know that jump you do when your brain is falling asleep at a different speed to your body, well I did that causing the tray to fly up, coffee cups and tablets (the electronic kind) going everywhere. Someone (no name but begins with H) could not stop laughing, the poor lady next to me getting the brunt of our rubbish. The laughing became infectious and neither of us could stop.
That was it for the flight, apart from where I was falling asleep and Hayley was staring at me, you know that jump you do when your brain is falling asleep at a different speed to your body, well I did that causing the tray to fly up, coffee cups and tablets (the electronic kind) going everywhere. Someone (no name but begins with H) could not stop laughing, the poor lady next to me getting the brunt of our rubbish. The laughing became infectious and neither of us could stop.
You look English, Do you know anywhere good to eat? Random Holidaying Couple
We got to the hotel and went to check-in. It was still early but it was worth a shot, the smell from the hotel was not appealing to say the least. They appeared to be cleaning down the restaurant from breakfast and it smelled like old burnt fat.
